About Journal Writing: Finding Perfection in Imperfection

          Often do you see in movies the use of journals; the mother dies and leaves her children her journal as a piece of her essence so she may always remain alive. Many may roll their eyes at such movie clichés, but I’ve always found it mesmerizing. I’ve always possessed the desire to leave something behind—leave a part of my essence to remain in this world long after I’ve parted it. Journal’s carry this promise; they carry the certainty that you’re life left something—even if they were just words on paper.  Journals vow that you will be remembered in a forgetful and passing world.

I confess; I do not keep a journal. Many times I have tried to pick up the habit, but, ironically, life always seems to get in the way. Something’s always has got to give. Responsibilities steal great amounts of time from our lives and often seem more important than writing a couple of thoughts on a piece of paper. This semester, however, one of my classes (the very one this blog is dedicated to), incorporated journal writing into my responsibilities. It turns out that a push was all I needed to jump-start my journal writing.

However, this journal was not the traditional sort often depicted in films. It contained a specific set of rules (more accurately: “anti-rules”) specifically designed to improve the creative writing process. Taken from Natalie Goldberg’s Writing Down the Bones, the anti-rules were the following:

1.     Don’t cross out.

2.     Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation or grammar.

3.     Don’t think. Don’t get logical.

4.     Go for the jugular.

5.     Keep your hand moving.

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Following the rules seemed fairly straightforward and easy at first and, for the most part, they were, with the exception of two rules. During most of my journal writing, I had a particularly hard time minding the anti-rules of not worrying about grammar and punctuation as well as not thinking or getting logical. These rules were the ones that most challenged my disposition towards perfection. Some days they were easier to follow, but other days they presented themselves as obstacles I needed to overcome.  This made me realize that my internal journey was greatly influenced by my logical and organized side. Our writing is the reflection of our internal and external journeys. Writing forty-six journal entries under rules that challenge the very nature of perfection helped me learn that my journey, and therefore my writing, is defined by my search for perfection.

Every single entry written challenged me in more than the intended way of helping my creative writing. Of course this part benefited from my journal writing since now I’m able to write more creatively, but the bigger feat of my semester’s companion consisted of schooling me in the art of acceptance. I write more freely now. My vocabulary and style are more relaxed, but they still maintain the order and structure needed; I have started on the path of acquiring the best of both worlds. Thanks to my journal, I can now look past writing perfectly, and towards writing something meaningful; that is, in itself, perfection.